Wabi Sabi

Each year, my school holds a "Grandparents and Special Friends Day."

And it's awesome.

The whole day becomes somewhat muted. The students move slower, speak more quietly, hold doors longer. They give up their seats, they give directions. Patience, and kindness, and a chivalrous calm win the day.

This year it was rainy and gray. A perfect day to move slowly.

For the most part, grandparents are so thrilled to watch their grandchildren; so proud to see the limbs of their family tree so soundly secured to the vision they've had for their family.

Blossoming.

As for me, along with connecting with our visitors, asking questions, gently shaking hands (and offering the crook of my elbow whenever I can find the opportunity), I try to guide my classroom conversations in a direction that will involve our celebrated guests.

For my 7th grade English class, this meant a discussion of wisdom and knowledge as we analyzed Scout and Jem's visit to Calpurnia's church in chapter 12 of To Kill a Mockingbird. Grandparents smiled as students admitted that they "don't know too many 13 year-olds they would describe as particularly wise."

"Who are the people in your lives who are wise?" I ask.

Nobody needs to answer. Everybody smiles.

Wisdom comes with making mistakes. It comes with living. With taking risks.
Life humbles you, and you grow.

For my 8th grade World Cultures class, our time together included a conversation about wabi sabi. I read them a children's book by Mark Reibstein that defines it like this.

Wabi Sabi is a way of seeing the world that is at the heart of Japanese culture. If finds beauty and harmony in what is simple, imperfect, natural, modest, and mysterious. It can be a little dark, but it is also warm and comfortable. Still, for many in Japanese culture, it is best understood as a feeling, rather than an idea. 

I hadn't thought much about the impact this word would have on Grandparents and Special Friends Day. I like the word, and that was enough. Still, it represents one of those instances where I end up jumping around my classroom yelling things like,

ISN'T THIS SO COOL?!

AREN'T YOU AMAZED BY THIS?!

DON'T YOU WANT TO HAVE THIS WORD, AND OWN THIS WORD, AND ADOPT IT, AND LOVE IT, AND HAVE IT IN YOUR MIND, AND USE IT IN YOUR MOUTH, AND SHARE IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS?

But on Grandparents and Special Friends Day, I didn't have to. They got it. All of them. They saw that there's a little "beautiful ugly" in wabi sabi. That it's digging your toes beneath the hot sand to find the cool. It's the fright and thrill of thunder. It's the nighttime sounds you cannot see. It's smells you love, not because they're good, but because they're familiar. It's the stained carpets and chipped mugs that punctuate the rhythm of our days.

Of course, they also made connections to the yin and yang of Taoism, and the escape from earthly desires of Buddhism. They had the scholarship because we were in school. They had the curiosity because they like the course and are innately curious. But they also had the mindfulness to slow down...to be still in the moment. They were just...so...present.

I wrote last week about not having enough time, and here's what yesterday taught me:

We have enough time. We've just got to figure out how to spend it well. Grandparents and Special Friends Day granted us the opportunity to slow down. There was a mutual understanding that this was a day about being present, and about taking it slow.

I love seeing the circularity of the subjects I teach: English, world cultures, and American history. Whether we're discussing why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird; or why Siddhartha grieved for the suffering of the destitute; or what compels a human to so easily shed morality in the name of personal gain, there is so much knowledge to understand...but if we're able to take a moment to be still, to soak in the details, we just might encounter the place where our hearts meet our minds.

It's a feeling I don't think we have a word for. It's a feeling I like, and a feeling that makes me sad.

It's wabi sabi.