While I had a handful of takeaways, one thing in particular stuck with me.
I always approach professional development opportunities as though I'm tasting a new food. Any time I taste something that takes risks or evolves my own understanding of what (or how) food can be, I think, "I want to add some element of this to my repertoire."
It's never, "I want this recipe and the steps required to recreate it exactly..." I'm just not that type of cook. I like experimenting and adding my own version of something I've tasted to the next innovative meal I try out.
Similarly, I like adding elements of what I've learned or read to my own teaching, my own interactions, my own life.
So what was the big takeaway from my conference?
It was what the facilitator referred to as the difference between
TRUE & REAL.
The facilitator differentiated between the two like this,
Imagine you were cut off on the highway by a speeding driver.
This really happened, so it's true.
Your bumpers nearly touched and the person was driving very fast.
TRUE.
But how that interaction takes shape inside of you is where REAL comes into play.
If you yell "THAT GUY'S A MANIAC! You're going to get somebody killed, you JERK!"
The truth has taken on REAL meaning within you...it has transformed your emotions. You are off-kilter, shaken, angry.
But, what if, instead, you responded with, "That guy is going really fast. He must be in a hurry. I hope he stays safe. We could have gotten really hurt right there."
By hijacking the moment--a TRUE thing that happened--the way it becomes REAL within us.
When someone says something offensive, do we make the truth (that their comment that landed offensively and was inappropriate) cause to label them a racist or sexist or ignorant (REAL), or do we say "that person said something racist." Making true facts REAL in our hearts can disallow us from coexisting in a meaningful way.
Certainly, we need to stand up for what is right, and we needn't ever ask permission for taking a stand for the things in which we believe...but the manner by which we engage, not outwardly, but within our hearts, is where true becomes real.
True has a connection to facts and reality...while being REAL has a connection to emotional authenticity and the depths of how we interact with the world.
How we interpret TRUE has the potential to derail our cores or empower us onward.
When we tell someone to "Get real," we mean they need to come back to reality and stop living in the clouds.
When we tell someone "I want you to be real right now," we mean we want them to be fully present and authentic with us...that we have the time to hear how they really are.
As I finish up a unit about Lord of the Flies, I have asked my students to be REAL...not to look at the mere TRUTH of the textual evidence, but to apply what they see and learn to their lives, to the inner workings of their hearts. The story ends in disaster and the facts illustrate a broken, hopeless world where humans seek glory, hate, and destroy each other and the world around them. Those are TRUE...but hope in a better tomorrow will require us all to kindle the REAL deep within us that rejects the status quo and grieves for a future TRUTH we know is possible.
During today's "This I Believe" presentations by 9th graders, I listened to a brave and inspiring student their own journey toward self-acceptance, toward recognizing to love their own journey, to be still in moments of anxiety, and to reflect on their identity.
In reality, I think few will remember the specifics, because it wasn't about this one student. The message was about authenticity. It was about being REAL. It was about the way it feels when someone gets REAL and risks all the perceptions others might place upon them in the name of being themselves.
At one point (well, two points, really) admitted, "I discovered that my path forward had not been defined yet...you are all making your own paths right now."
This is the truth.
For REAL.
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