Bandwidth

I don't know if I am going to continue this blog.

Writing those words feels good.
It feels cathartic. Real.

Sometimes just acknowledging my own indecision can help me to find the ground beneath my feet. From there I can better identify where I am...where I'm going to ultimately land.

And right now, I don't know where that is.

The new school year is stretched before me and I am excited--probably as excited as I've ever been. And you should know that I have always been excited about school starting. Even when I was a little kid; yet this year feels particularly electric.

I've moved to a new classroom.
I have big ideas...ideas that have grown and evolved over the summer.
I have excited students and I've met many of their parents who are excited for them.
I'm teaching a new course.
I am eager to be led by inspiring new leaders.
I am tutoring some really wonderful students.

In so many ways I am doing so much--so much that I love.

And, still, I am worried. I am worried about my bandwidth and about whether or not I can handle it all.

So I might not. I might elect to give something up, and it might be this blog.

But for today it has felt good to write this. I write as my students write. They are writing about what their life will look like twenty years from now if they've had a fulfilling life.

My life, 20 years removed from eighth grade, is one of inspiration. I feel grounded. I am here. I know where I am, even if I don't know where I will ultimately land. For today, that is fulfilling. For today--the second day of school--that is enough.